October 2009

While working my way through college, one of my jobs was as substitute custodian for a school district. I became the person they called first, because I always showed up and did a good job. That led to a plum assignment of several weeks replacing the Eastwood Elementary School evening custodian, who had a heart attack. It was within walking distance of my mom's house, which is where I lived while in college to cut expenses for both of us. 

One afternoon I was mopping a classroom. I always left the door open to allow a breeze in while working. SPLAT! I turned around and saw a mud-soaked newspaper had landed inside the door and splattered dark brown mud all over. I went over to the door and looked out, but whoever had tossed it was long gone. I cleaned up the mess, and then went on to finish mopping the room. 

SPLAT! Another muddy newspaper had splattered like a dirt grenade, but this time I immediately dropped the mop and raced to the door. I saw two middle school kids on bikes riding off and laughing. 

I was 20 and in excellent physical condition as a result of running every morning with my Labrador retriever Alvin as well as playing half court basketball in pickup games and flag football in a college PE class. I took off after them, not really thinking that much about what I would do if I did catch them. 

They rode off the sidewalk and across the big grassy field, the bumpier ride and soggier surface slowing them down. I began closing the fifty yard gap. In another minute, I was almost on the back biker, maybe ten feet away. He turned back at me, and you would have thought he saw the face of God about to cast him into hell. He yelled, and they both gave it everything they had. I kept up for another fifty yards, but then I let them go. As I said, I really didn't know what I would do if I caught them anyway. I would just get in trouble for beating up some smart ass kids and lose my job, which I needed. 

I walked back to the classroom and finished mopping the floor. Then I went to the next, and the next. Those kids never came back to bother me again. I had accomplished what I intended. 

Now if I had tracked those kids down and borrowed money to set up a college fund for them so they would not lead criminal lives, that would be the equivalent of nation building in Iraq. If I had slacked off on doing homework and spent all my free time and some hard-earned money looking for them, not expecting anything in return for my efforts, that would be the equivalent of Afghanistan. 

What does that have to do with cruising?  Well, if you don't step back every now and then to think about what you're doing, you could end up wasting your life and resources on things you really don't want.  Wouldn't you rather take time to enjoy a cruise instead?  Call me. 

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I must confess I haven't been searching for churches much lately, instead mostly walking along the beach with my wife on Sunday mornings to meet my son Jay at the Lighthouse to listen to Jazz. I've always been someone who just loves God and the world He made for us to enjoy rather than someone particularly religious, anyway. 

However, one semester in college, I started the year by bringing a Bible with me when I went to school. I wasn't bringing it to convert anyone. I was in the process of reading it cover to cover, just as I had recently read "Autobiography of a Yogi" in hopes of understanding more about the subject and giving me extra things to contemplate during my self-directed yoga sessions. I really didn't think much about how others would interpret my reading the Bible between classes. If anything, I was trying to find my inner Kwai Chiang Cane, who of course was a character from one of my Friday night, pre-nightclub favorite TV shows, “Kung Fu” (with "Sanford and Son" being the other). 

At one point in a Manpower Management class breakout session where I worked with a group of six students, somebody let a curse word slip, and then looked at me directly and said, "Oh, excuse me." Now at the time, I was someone who outside of school hung out with rockers, so I certainly was used to hearing worse, though nothing compared to what passes for normal these days in the hip hop community. 

Seeing me read the Bible had changed their perception of who I must be.  To put it in perspective, around the same time frame my friend Chris Crabtree picked up the Bible from my coffee table and wrapped a "Playboy" magazine around it to pretend to hide what he was reading.

Anyway, reading the Bible between classes led to meeting a girl named Mercedes, who was Asian rather than German as you might have guessed. She approached me as I read under a tree at college and invited me to go to church with her on Sunday. 

When we arrived at her church, there were hundreds of people already there with their arms in the air, swaying back and forth to the pre-service music. It turned out I was at one of the churches of Reverend Moon, who later became known as a cult leader to his critics. 

Mercedes had asked me to spend the day with her, so after church, we headed back to her house, which it turned out she shared with another half dozen people from the church. After lunch, which of course involved preparation time, we all laid down to rest and meditate. I was hoping this was one of those Paul Simon things, where the "young girl in the parking lot preaching to a crowd...crept to my tent with a flashlight," which happened to be a song in my repertoire, but it wasn't. We eventually headed back to church for the afternoon service, which was more of the same from the morning service. 

I never returned to the church, and I never called Mercedes again.  

Are you saying yes to life? Are you ready to embark on a new adventure? Call me, and book a cruise. I think you'll like it and call me back.

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